Oh my God… a shadow just popped up something serious. Lol. Why is there a nagging thought that I don’t deserve to be happy, loved and thriving? I never knew this thought existed!!! I mean, I would just experience the thought through mental conversations of not expecting things to work out, or me having to work extra hard for things to happen.
Or it may feel like, feeling 2nd best to friends and lovers. Even with family. Business… Never being anyone favorite person (business yes… but when it comes to my spiritual gifts… that a different story).
Or not being able to receive compliments well and really truly enjoying them.
I know it all stems down to me and how I see myself… and now I see I could acknowledge myself and love on me better. I feel second best, because I can choose others over me at times… or I don’t deserve happiness and love until I become the best version of myself.
And I’m not there yet. I’m working on it. My ideal self, is healthy, wealthy, financially and physically fit. But this is all outward appearances.
I have to give it to myself, my values of beauty and being my best version has most definitely been an inside job, though.
I may not have my outward caught up to the ideal of being the best version of myself… but my values are cherished.
My abilities to self evaluate is impeccable. My abilities to keep peace and make war is all me. My abilities to brighten someone’s day or share my inner child with others to lighten their loads…. It’s genuine and healing. My gifts of having an eye to see, hear to ear, heart to feel, and mind to know… I am truly blessed. My love and forgiveness… is forever growing. I could be more compassionate… but I acknowledge this and work on myself daily, more so my spiritual nature than physical.
I don’t take enough time to give that part of myself credit.
It’s amazing, what shadow work does. I’m working on this to see myself in light rather darkness all the time. Lol. Seeing the inner beauty of life.
How did I come to be so wealthy?
Why am I wealthy?
Signing off,
Nicole formerly known as Elocin Ned’RAH
THE MODERN DAY SAGE
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